In January 2008, I learned that I was pregnant with my third child. I had recently moved to Oklahoma and was trying to secure a stable life with my two children. I was in a relationship but it was not going well. He and I were fighting all the time and I knew I needed to get out of that situation fast. Then found out I was pregnant with his child. He wanted nothing to do with a baby, so he made it easy to get away from him.
When the news of being pregnant sank in, I felt overwhelmed and then drained. This was so unexpected. I knew that being pregnant was not the hard part. The hard part would be the responsibility that would come in nine months. All I wanted for my family was to be settled with a good career, have a good school for my children to attend, have minimal stress and to be happy. A new baby was not something that I could deal with.
I met a wonderful person who became my best friend. He let me talk about my situation and offered advice only when I asked for it. I knew that abortion was not an option for me, but I couldn’t parent either. I didn’t want this child to have to grow up without a father and in a family situation like we were in at that time. I knew that I had to find a way for this child to visit more information have a better life than I could offer at the current time.
I started talking with my boss about my situation as well. I told him I was considering adoption, but being new to Oklahoma I didn’t know where to turn. He and his wife had adopted through Christian Services of Oklahoma a few years before and highly recommended the agency as a place to start for support and guidance. I contacted the agency and through counseling with my adoption counselor and continuing to talk to friends and to my boss, adoption seemed like the best option for this baby.
Making an adoption plan was interesting. I was not sure what to expect and honestly it went pretty fast. I met with my worker and she helped me through the process and then she showed me families. I had high expectations for the family for this child and read here thought they would be impossible to find. It was pretty nerve-racking wondering about the family. I didn’t know if they would be willing to accept my expectations and be sensitive to my feelings.
My counselor provided me with all the information on the family that she was allowed to share and gave me support in the decision making process. Christian Services allowed me to meet the family and find out for myself if this was going to be the family for my baby. The agency continued to act as mediators between me and the family until time for this child to be born and through the placement process.
I have no regrets when it comes to my decision to place my child for adoption. I couldn’t be any happier knowing that she has a wonderful family that loves her. We have contact with the family and are able to see her on a regular basis. Her new family has accepted my family with open arms. We get together for holidays, birthdays and barbeques. It is truly amazing.
I am still trying to reach some of my goals that I had laid out for my family, but I am on the right track. I would not be where I am today had I not decided to place my child into a wonderful family through adoption.
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